What should happen in a first 1:1?

In a first 1:1, I would explain that the meeting is a regular opportunity for a direct, honest conversation between the individual and their manager.

That means they can raise concerns, talk about where they would like to go in their role, and give input on how the team is run. It also means you have a proper place to give direction, feedback and support.

If 1:1s are new to the team, I would say that they are a common practice in many organisations and that the point is to create more time with the manager, not to add another layer of pointless meetings.

Set a friendly, collaborative tone

The key is to avoid coming across as a dictatorial manager. If you want someone to open up and trust you, the first meeting needs to feel open from the start.

That does not mean you are trying to become their friend. You are still their manager. But the tone should be calm, collaborative and clear. You are showing them that the meeting is a serious management rhythm, not an inspection.

What questions should you ask?

I would start simply. Ask whether there is anything they would like to raise. Ask if they have any concerns. Ask if there is a way they would like to conduct these meetings that would make them more useful.

Keep it non-confrontational and inquisitive. You are trying to tease out information, not win a debate. If they are quiet or cautious, do not assume the meeting has failed. Some people take time. Sometimes they say very little for a few meetings and then suddenly have a lot to say.

• Is there anything you would like to raise?
• Are there any concerns on your mind at the moment?
• Is there anything you need from me?
• Is there a way we can make these meetings useful for you?

What should you avoid asking too soon?

Avoid asking for dirt on colleagues. Avoid inviting general negativity about the company, the team or individuals. Avoid anything too personal or anything where the employee might reasonably think you have an ulterior motive.

You can learn a great deal over time, but you do not need to force it out in the first meeting. If someone is cautious, respect that. Build the rhythm and let trust develop.

How should you close the first meeting?

I like to end my one-to-ones in the same way: "Is there anything else you need from me?"

It is a good closing question because it gives the person one final chance to raise something. It also reinforces the idea that the 1:1 is not only about what you need from them. It is also about what they need from you.